Hi there, how are you?

I recognize a few of you. I can see Frosty’s mischievious smile, hear Mike’s comforting voice. A few years ago, I met Ejna and was impressed - she’s smart; I liked her. And there are few more of you I’ve met in your Kentucky home office, shaken hands with, as we chatted about strange weather or my hotel. Since I cannot bring in bagels and fresh raspberry jam, I thought I’d say hello online.

(For those of you who are not new coworkers, please allow me to explain.)

Over the years, I have worked as a consultant for the Prevention Research Institute (PRI) through my former employer, Allen Interactions. PRI contributes something worthwhile to the world:  they have developed an amazing curriculum to prevent alcoholism and drug abuse.

When I first started consulting with them, I attended their three-day workshop and was delighted to discover their methodology was thoroughly soaked in actual research and also completely devoid of shame. That startled me, I guess, because so much professional training translates as DO IT THIS WAY BECAUSE THE COMPANY SAID SO.

PRI’s approach is gentle persuasion, analogies, metaphors that make heart-sense, and they still manage to explore (and oddly, celebrate) the wonderful irrational aspect in all of us that wants things that are sometimes not healthy for us. Cool, huh? But it’s not all hugs and cookies (though, yes, there were cookies on breaks). It’s bonafide research-based; they’re not pulling punches regarding consequences or sugar-coating anything (again, except for the break cookies).

When PRI recently offered me the chance to work for them developing e-learning and mLearning, I was delighted. (Well, that’s not entirely true. I now have to explain to my folks what mLearning is, and they’re still not quite steady on e-learning. I do not entirely look forward to that conversation.)

So, new coworkers, I thought I’d tell you some of the important facts about me:

I like the color blue.

I am left-handed.

I don’t talk to my house plants because I’m never quite sure what to say. Sometimes it’s awkward. But I do play music I think they’ll enjoy.

I like 30Rock, Raisin Bran Crunch, and lying on the couch under a blanket crocheted by my friend Stephen. I just discovered Cherry Garcia ice cream in June. I had no idea this goodness existed.

If you ever want to know which of the X-men have been killed and then were miraculously brought back to life (or perhaps it was their evil clone who was killed), I’m your man.

Once when I couldn’t sleep, I lay in bed and plotted my escape route in case zombies attacked my home. How could I get to my car keys and then the garage safely? (This assumed the traditional slow-moving zombies, not the modern ones who can run really fast. I call them ‘Nike Zombies.’ There’s really not much hope for escaping them.)

For the past month I have been photographing the morning glories scaffolding the front of my house because I find them damn impressive:  they started out as 3 inch toddler plants, then mastered climbing the front stairs, then skipped up the trellis like a jungle gym and are now choking the life out of the front porch light. They have designs for the roof - they’re going for the summit! For the past two weeks they have exploded cornflower blue blossoms every single day.

It’s like a magic trick and I never tire of it.

I imagine the neighbors across the street are mystified as to why I need so many photographs of the front of my house. Oh, but I do. I do.

I’m terrible with names of people in the real world, but I remember subplots to Dickens’ books easily. I think I was meant to be a fictional character, but somehow ended up in the real world. That would explain a few things.

And as perhaps you have guessed, I am not great with first impressions; I tend to babble. The second or third time you meet me, I’m about 40% less dorky. (Or not.)

I think I would make a better first impression if we were allowed to talk about something real the first time. I wish it were socially acceptable to ask, “Is your life turning out the way you expected?” Or maybe, “What’s something sad in your life that you managed to work through?” I think I would remember names better if we could begin speaking from our hearts right away, first sentences.

What was the best night of your life?

Many years ago, Allen Interactions hired a new VP of Consulting. I met him during his first week and after shaking hands, we joked about how hard it is to meet 50 people in one week and remember all their names.

“I’ll help you out!” I promised cheerfully.

I proceeded to flail my hands in front of his face like wet rags, fat fingers flying dangerously close to his horned-rimmed glasses. He was stunned and uh…not loving it, exactly. He had this expression on his face that was hard to interpret.

“I guess you won’t forget me now.” I said, suddenly aware that this was my boss’s boss.

“Probably not.” He agreed, with a slight note of distaste.

He didn’t last terribly long at Allen Interactions. And now I can’t even remember his name.

We probably never talked about the things that he photographs, the odd and quirky ways he lives his life.

Well, fellow PRI-tians (no, that can’t be right), I look forward to meeting you in person, and perhaps some day we will trade stories about the very best night in your life and mine.

I look forward to it.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008 at 9:02 am and is filed under Gratitude. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.